Dear 419 scammer,
I've noted in my e-mail inbox that your variation on the Spanish Prisoner con is getting a bit stale, and that as a result, you've upgraded the con to use fake lotteries like the UK national lottery and the European "National" lottery.
But my nitpick is with your methods: you're clearly using botnets to get your message out to the world. And it's working; my various spam filters are letting past a distressingly large amount of your e-mails. Your scams must clearly be working, as people tend to be trusting and/or greedy; also, if you scams didn't work, I probably wouldn't be seeing so many of your e-mails.
But anyway, the problem with using the botnets is that I'm winning a lottery I've never entered about two to three times a week (and I'm real excited about that, because I never win when I do buy a ticket). Now, if I'm trusting and/or greedy, I might fall for one of these. But by the seventh lottery win, I start to suspect that maybe someone is playing a joke on me. Either that or by some ungodly combination of factors, I've just become the richest man in the world.
The larger problem, of course, is that you have too many scams competing against one another. How am I supposed to choose my fleecer-to-be? Should I wait and see if the jackpots on the lotteries I've won (but have never played) get any bigger? You see my dilemma: I can't hand my money or bank account details over to you when one of your colleagues is promising even more wealth. Besides, if trends continue, in a couple of days, I'll be winning another lottery.
Did you follow the link to Met Police's webpage from Wikipedia -- quite amusing.
If you have untold millions (or thousands) and do not know what to do with them, send them to me for safekeeping on which you will receive interest as well --that's right, I'll pay YOU. You may withdraw your funds at any time for a very nominal fee.